The Will to Power Grab...

Listen up America, it's a jungle out there and you don't want your kids to be devoured by wolves or left hiding in the underbrush, do you? Time to man up your sons and daughters and teach them to be shit-kicking assholes. And the sooner the better, cuz we know what happens to other people don't we people?

Look around you, assholes are in charge because they are willing to take on the behaviors that beget power, fame, and wealth. They're willing to look beyond the dainty filagree of the human soul, the mangy minefield of emotions, and those pathetic expressions of curiosity and compassion for your fellow non-achiever. Either your kids are going to be making money or making nothing. All humans are created equal, but what's a human? The asshole is Nietzsche's Superman without the naval-gazing and mountain climbing (or the Clark Kent). The asshole wins. Get that into Junior's mellon today. Your legacy depends on it!

(Illustration by ric stultz)