Death on the installment plan...

Found on Craigslist (writer/editor jobs in LA):

SEEKING HOT SHOT EXECUTIVE FOR FASHION TRADE PUBLICATION
If ANY of these do NOT describe you, please do not apply:

Fashion and the latest trends are ALWAYS on my mind.
I MUST know what the latest “new thing” is or I will die.
I would be doing this anyway, even if I wasn’t being paid.
I get hot flashes when I see a FABULOUS hot item.
I always know of the newest stores and coolest hot spots.
I am always in the stores shopping nearly EVERY DAY.
I would do ANYTHING to have a job like this.
I can LEAD a Fashion Department.

Candidates must answer YES to ALL of the above, must also be a SELF-STARTER who possesses strong & proven LEADERSHIP skills, have at least 5 years EXPERIENCE as a Retailer, Editor or Designer AND must realize that this is NOT a 9-5 job, but a 24/7 MINDSET. Compensation TBD.

(Detail of "Henri Robin and a Specter" -1863 - by Eugene Thibault.)