What the hell is wrong with critics?

The jaded declarations, the pig-headed assumptions, the cruel put downs, the blind dismissals, the shockingly embarrassing missing of key points. Who are these people?

If you care to know what I'm talking about, choose a movie you really love. Know why you love it and prepare to have that love shat upon: Go to imdb.com and have a look at the "professional" reviews of your selected film. You will likely encounter some of the smarmiest, most irrelevant, hackish, soulless, incurious, patently sad commentary that the human animal can conjure. Where is the love you flatheaded laptop tubers?

I'm sorry but a morsel of popular influence gone flabby, wielded carelessly, and used without imagination or thoughtfulness of any discernible kind, cannot be taken seriously. The job of critic - someone who, ideally, has in important role in shaping the cultural landscape - should be at least as revered and vetted as a judge or a professor, doncha think?