Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Get Your Conspiracies On...


Six US Ports to be turned over to United Arab Emirates maritime management firm Dubai Ports World (btw, DP World- what's the innuendo with that name?). Bush threatens to veto any bill that blocks the deal. Which “deal” would that be Mr. President? While we're on this topic, isn't it funny how it's ok for America to dominate countless industries throughout the globe, but God forbid that there should ever be a flipside to that coin.

Modified Atmosphere Packaging: Carbon Monoxide spiked meat will stay a nice bloody cherry red on shelves for anywhere from 5- 40 days. Retailers were loosing money as the meat turned brown. Meanwhile, eight workers at a Nebraska meat processing plant have claimed a record $365M Powerball jackpot. Coincidence? or Pay off! You connect the dots...

Should the identical twin of someone who works in a high profile, extremely dangerous, or politically sensitive job be subject to security screenings and fingerprinting? It doesn'’t happen now, but it did lead to trouble in a dream I had… seriously, I know the old twin-swapping racket was exposed in both versions of "The Parent Trap," but are we 100% satisfied with that alone as a preventative measure to future chicanery?

Lips: Is this the supersized mouth era or what? Saw "Narnia:The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe" last night and the only person without a kisser that looked like two banana slugs mating was Tilde Swinton as the frigid and ee-veel white witch Jadis. Look around. Read the lips. Is it safe to say that a person’s relative goodness can be measured by the fullness of their pout? Will Angelina Jolie and Scarlett Johansson team up to topple thin-lippers Bush and Cheney and become America’s long-awaited, bee-stung mouthpiece? Stay tuned.


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