Replay...

Had you forgotten, like me, that your life flashes before your eyes when you die? At least this is what individuals who have had near death experiences report. They say that the review is never censored or cast in any moral light. It is a strangely impersonal occurrence accompanied by neither thought nor feeling. The review is exclusively visual, there are no words or sounds or tastes or sensations. (One wonders what blind people might see.) Is this the movie we've all been waiting for? The biggest blockbuster you'll ever know that only sold one ticket?

OK, Cut. Back up. Rewind. Start again. Optional read below...

Imagine that every waking moment of your day is filmed. At the end of the day you get into bed and watch the movie (in some magically sped up form that doesn't detract from its impact, but doesn't take all night to screen). Think how much you would learn about yourself and how you interact with the world. Golfers and tennis players have been benefiting from watching themselves and doing replay analysis for years. Who knows, you might improve your swing...

Which is the point. After a couple of these late night screening sessions don't you think you would start to watch your steps a little more during the day? Behave in a more appropriate or "photogenic" manner? Make slightly more cinematic choices so that your life would take on a more concise narrative structure? Or would you try to beat the system? Fake it out? Of course, you could try to act naturally, but the thought of the camera recording your every move would never fully leave your awareness. Having this kind of perspective on yourself would probably be a major burden. Part of what makes life bearable is the disappearance of time - not having to listen to the sound of our own voice at lunch, not having to see our double chins as we bow our head to read the menu. The Horror... The Horror.

Of course you could argue that while we are not being followed by a camera crew all day long, we are exposed to enough media to alter our sense of self. At some level we are aware of the cinematic world - a place where things are enhanced, art directed, and carefully scripted for some effect. And so we have fashion, fancy cars, special haircuts, walls of books we never read, one-liners we use over and over. Even though the present slips through our fingers, we are always secretly preparing for a close up in one movie or another...