Saturday, October 04, 2008

Frozen fountain...

1) In publishing, and other industries, the term FPO means "for placement only." It generally takes the form of a temporary image inserted on a page to indicate the size and placement of the actual image, when it arrives.

2) I woke with many images and half-dreamed metaphors meant to visualize the nature of a certain aspect of consciousness that was swirling in my morning mind. I was an steel aerodynamic sculpture vertically fixed on the tarmac of a windy municipal airport. I was the planet Jupiter with all of its magnificent turbulence. I was the support tower of a bridge over a river whose powerful current split around my unmoving base. And so on.

3) When I am in the presence of minds greater, or shall I say, more developed and nimbler than my own - when I find myself at a table, socially engaged with such a brain or brains, instead of listening and learning, I am prone to freeze up. I prefer to shrink up into my head and stand dumbfounded gawking (with pangs of shame) at the limits of my own intellect. It's one of life's more horrible feelings.

4) Whenever I find myself exposed to something new and exciting and/or terrifying that I determine to be, in some way, greater than my current self, I clear a space in my psyche. This zone, I declare, will one day be able to house this exciting new thing and fully incorporate it into my personal system. I would very much like that. Looking around my psyche, I am shocked to see so many empty placement holders, so many hollow bubbles, filled with stale enthusiasm, for placement only.

5) As we progress through time and space we willfully choose to deactivate certain areas of our consciousness, for whatever reason. We are generally not aware of these areas of deactivation, since they were handed over to the unconscious and remain shrouded from our active view. Interestingly, others can see these areas of deactivation quite clearly. Assessing these "holes," speculating upon their nature, is an important part of forming an opinion of, and relations with, other people.

6) Can any reality be asserted? Or are assertions, by nature, key fantasies that require expression to gain footing? I am very aware lately of the difference between assertions and articulations, the latter being more difficult in that they attempt to understand and correct the various warps of our psychic lenses.

7) 10-4 good buddies.

(photo by Michael Kenna)


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