The Endless Summer Gunpowder Tea Concoction...

I've been off coffee for months. But slowly and inevitably, caffeine will slither its way back into your life, crafty bugger. Lately, perhaps in some unconscious aversion to the end of summer, I've taken to making tall, fat pitchers of iced tea. At first it was green tea, because, well, it's supposed to be good for you, and not all that caffeinated. But Christ! Maybe I'm getting the wrong brand or something, but that stuff tastes like sewer run off. Then it was ginseng tea which initially has its benefits but it seems a little too psychoactive to down regularly. I've made the switch to the infinitely more tasty and aromatic classic: Earl Grey. If that gunpowdery bergamot scent doesn't whisk you away to the White Cliffs of Dover, well you're incurable I'm afraid. But tea can be bitter. So here's the recipe:

1/2 liter of freshly made good earl grey tea
1/3-1/2 liter of Orangina (to taste)
1/3 liter of San Pellegrino or seltzer
juice of 1 lemon
juice of 1 lime
fresh mint
three drops of Tobasco sauce.

Pour the hot tea over a handful of ice cubes at the bottom of a good sized heat resistant pitcher. Toss in all the other stuff. Stirr. Refrigerate. Drink.

Can also toss in some cranberry juice (or grenadine, or Campari) for color and sweetness. But not too sweet. You aren't running lemonade stand. Taste the gunpowder. If it's going to sit in your cooler for more than a day or two, take out the mint, it gets nasty.