Two Charley Horses (and a Royal Goose)...

What are the odds that each member of a couple would awake in the night, just a few nights apart, with a massive muscle cramp in the right calf? Neither Sarah or I have had anything like a charley horse in years... And yet it happened... And now it feels like we've been woven into the plot of a teen ghost movie. My cramp was so intense that I accidentally kicked a sleeping cat ten feet into the gloaming.

The term Charley Horse (never Charlie Horse) historically refers to a painful blow to the inner thigh (aka "dead leg") often administered in childhood by a freckled classmate who was held back several grades. More recently, the term has also been used to describe painful leg cramps, which may occur in the thigh, arch of the foot, toes, calf muscle, or quadriceps. Such a charley horse can occur when the muscle in question is not being used, such as while lying in bed. The term may date back to American baseball slang of the 1880s, possibly from the pitcher Charley "Old Hoss" Radbourne who is said to have suffered from cramps.

Prince Charles may be an inappropriate bottom fondler (show me a Brit who isn't), but I say a royal who uses his own hands to till the land is entitled to squeeze a few exotic fruits.